Introduction: Stepping Into a New Calling
When we first signed up for the “Working with Youth” course at Breakthrough Academy, we weren’t entirely sure what to expect. Both of us, James and Yuli, hope to get some insights to connect with our daughters.
But we also knew that working with youth is not simply about giving advice. It’s about listening deeply, building trust, understanding the complex emotions behind their words (and silences), and creating safe spaces where they can grow.
The two-day training turned out to be far more transformative than we imagined — not only equipping us with techniques and frameworks, but also helping us look inward, re-examine our own mindsets, and see how our personal stories can inspire the next generation.
Here’s our journey, day by day, through an immersive and eye-opening experience at Breakthrough Academy.
Day 1: Understanding Youth and Building Connection
1. The Icebreaker – Entering Their World
The course began with something simple — a circle of chairs, a whiteboard, and a room full of eager faces. Our trainer, Coach Glenn Lim, started with an icebreaker called "brief introduction of yourself"
Coach Glenn Lim explained that when working with youth, connection precedes correction. We can’t expect to influence or guide someone until they feel seen, heard, and understood.
2. Understanding Youth Development Stages
The first session introduced the five stages of youth development, from early adolescence to young adulthood. We discussed:
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Identity Formation (7 - 12 years) — where self-image and belonging are central.
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Autonomy vs. Dependence (13 - 18 years) — where young people crave freedom yet still need guidance.
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Purpose and Direction (18 –23 years) — where career, relationships, and self-worth take shape.
It was eye-opening to realize how different motivations and fears drive each age group. Many youths we encounter in schools, community centers, or church groups are wrestling not with “disobedience” but with uncertainty about identity and belonging.
3. The Power of Active Listening
Our next module focused on communication skills — specifically, active listening.
Coach Michael gave us a challenge: “For the next five minutes, pair up and listen without interrupting, judging, or offering advice.”
It sounded easy — until we tried it.
James paired up with Yuli. Yuli shared about a challenging youth she once mentored — a 16-year-old who refused to engage in any group activity. The instinct was to jump in and offer solutions (“Maybe you should try…”), but the exercise forced us to hold back and listen with empathy instead of ego.
We learned the “3 A’s of Active Listening”:
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Attention – Be fully present.
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Acknowledgment – Reflect what you hear.
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Acceptance – Withhold judgment.
By the end, Yuli shared that she felt “heard for the first time.” That’s the power we often forget when dealing with young people who feel misunderstood.
Day 1 Role Play: Breaking Down Barriers
After lunch, we moved into role play scenarios — one of the most powerful segments of the entire program.
We were divided into small groups. Each team received a scenario drawn from real-life youth counseling situations.
Scenario 1:
A 15-year-old student, Marcus, has been skipping classes and shows signs of anger during group sessions.
James volunteered to play Marcus, while Yuli took the role of the youth mentor.
At first, the conversation was awkward:
Yuli (mentor): “Marcus, why are you skipping school?”
James (Marcus): “Because it’s boring. No one cares about me there.”
Coach Michael stopped the role play. He explained that our first question often determines the direction of trust. Instead of focusing on “why,” which can sound accusatory, we can ask “what’s been happening?” or “how have you been feeling about school lately?”
We restarted.
Yuli: “Marcus, what’s been happening lately? I noticed you haven’t been in class.”
James: “I don’t know… things at home are messy.”
Yuli: “Sounds like a lot’s going on. Want to talk about it?”
The difference was night and day. The atmosphere softened. The wall between “mentor” and “youth” began to dissolve.
That was the first major breakthrough of the course — realizing that the right question can open doors to trust.
Day 2: Guiding, Empowering, and Managing Behavior
1. Understanding Youth Challenges Today
Day 2 began with a deep dive into the modern challenges youth face — far beyond what we experienced growing up.
We explored:
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Social media pressure and body image
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Family breakdowns and absent parenting
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Anxiety, depression, and academic stress
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Identity confusion in a hyper-connected world
Coach Glenn Lim reminded us that today’s youth are not “weak” — they are overwhelmed by noise and expectations. Our job as youth workers is not to solve all their problems, but to be a stabilizing presence amid their storms.
He shared a key framework:
“When youth act out, they’re not trying to give you a hard time — they’re having a hard time.”
That line stuck with us. It reframed the entire way we view “difficult” behavior.
2. Coaching vs. Teaching: Empowerment over Instruction
Next, we learned the difference between teaching and coaching:
| Teaching | Coaching |
|---|---|
| Focuses on giving answers | Focuses on drawing out insights |
| One-way (expert to learner) | Two-way (collaboration) |
| Outcome: Knowledge | Outcome: Growth and ownership |
We practiced the GROW model of coaching, which stands for:
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Goal – What do you want to achieve?
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Reality – What’s happening now?
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Options – What could you do?
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Way forward – What will you do next?
Yuli coached James through a real-life example:
James had a youth who constantly gave up on challenges. Using GROW, Yuli asked:
“What would success look like for you in this situation?”
“What’s holding you back from trying again?”
“What small step could you take this week?”
Instead of lecturing, the questions helped the “youth” (James) arrive at his own realization — that progress, not perfection, matters.
That was another breakthrough moment for us. We understood that empowerment comes when we stop being problem-solvers and start being partners in growth.
3. Handling Difficult Youth Behavior
Afternoon sessions shifted toward behavior management techniques.
We explored the ABC model of behavior:
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A – Antecedent: What triggers the behavior?
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B – Behavior: What exactly happens?
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C – Consequence: What follows after?
Through case studies, we analyzed real examples like:
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A youth constantly using sarcasm.
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A participant refusing to engage in group games.
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A teen getting defensive when corrected.
Each situation required not punishment, but understanding the root cause.
Coach Glenn emphasized “respond, don’t react.”
He showed how calmness and consistency build credibility — traits youth respect far more than authority.
Day 2 Role Play: The Turning Point
Our final role play was a simulation titled “The Confrontation.”
Scenario:
A youth, Nicole, repeatedly interrupts others during group sharing. The mentor must address the behavior while maintaining rapport.
This time, James played the mentor and Yuli played Nicole.
James began by using the “sandwich method”:
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Start with appreciation
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Address the issue
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End with encouragement
“Nicole, I really love how passionate you are in group discussions. You bring great energy. I just noticed that sometimes others don’t get to share as much because you’re excited to speak — maybe we can find a way to balance it so everyone has a voice. You’ve got strong leadership qualities, and I think others can learn from you too.”
Yuli smiled and nodded. “Okay, I didn’t notice that, but yeah, I can try.”
The whole class applauded — not because it was perfect, but because it reflected grace, empathy, and respect — the essence of working with youth.
4. The Reflection Circle: What We Gained
At the end of Day 2, we sat in a reflection circle — lights dimmed, soft music playing, each participant sharing what they learned.
Here are our takeaways:
James’ Reflection:
“I came in thinking youth work was about giving guidance. But I learned it’s more about listening, empowering, and believing in young people even when they don’t believe in themselves. The GROW model, active listening, and emotional connection are tools I’ll carry into every conversation from now on.”
Yuli’s Reflection:
“For me, the biggest lesson was humility — realizing that sometimes I don’t need to have the answers. I just need to be present. I also learned the importance of tone, posture, and words when communicating. The way we show up matters more than what we say.”
The Knowledge We Gained: Key Frameworks and Principles
To summarize, here are the major frameworks and insights we walked away with:
| Area | Key Learning | Application |
|---|---|---|
| Communication | Active listening (3 A’s – Attention, Acknowledgment, Acceptance) | Use reflective responses instead of advice-giving |
| Coaching | GROW model | Guide youths to take ownership of solutions |
| Behavior Management | ABC model (Antecedent, Behavior, Consequence) | Analyze triggers before reacting |
| Empathy | “Connection before correction” | Build trust before offering feedback |
| Youth Development | Understanding emotional stages (13–25 years) | Tailor approach to maturity level |
| Self-Reflection | Awareness of personal biases | Avoid projecting our expectations onto them |
Each of these tools feels practical and powerful — not theoretical concepts, but real strategies we can apply immediately in schools, youth centers, or mentorship programs.
Closing Thoughts: Our Commitment Going Forward
After two days at Breakthrough Academy, both of us walked away inspired and grounded.
The course wasn’t just about youth work — it was about heart work. It reminded us that every young person we meet carries unseen stories, silent struggles, and untapped potential.
We learned that our role is not to fix them, but to walk beside them.
To believe in them when they doubt themselves.
To hold space for growth, even when progress is slow.
We left with a shared vision — to keep practicing what we’ve learned, to continue growing as mentors, and to become catalysts for change in the lives of youth we encounter.
As Breakthrough Academy’s motto says:
“Transformation begins with connection.”
We couldn’t agree more.
Epilogue: Gratitude and Next Steps
We want to extend our heartfelt thanks to Coach Glenn Lim and the team at Breakthrough Academy for creating an environment of learning, vulnerability, and growth.
Our next step?
We've decided that we need to connect with our daughters more by active listening and connections. Give small and manageable goals so they feel fulfilled and build up their resilience.
This journey has reminded us that working with youth is not just a skill — it’s a calling, a responsibility, and a privilege.
